Anger is likely the emotion with the worst reputation. Many of us try to avoid or reject any notion that we may be an “angry person,” but anger is actually a valid, healthy, and useful emotion in the same way that happiness and sadness is. We might fear anger because we’ve seen the negative effects that come when others lose a grip on their anger. Unresolved or unmanaged anger has had the tendency to lead to violence, aggression, or hurtful words or actions. Hence, the bad reputation. But, when anger is felt, processed, and harnessed it has an incredible power to help us to make meaningful changes in our lives for ours and others’ benefit and can even be a powerful aid in our healing processes. 

When we don’t understand our anger we have the tendency to let it control us, where we accidentally release our anger in excess and end up hurting others or having negative consequences that are hard to come back from. For example, you may be hurt and respond with anger that  ends up hurting a friend or loved one so much that the relationship becomes very difficult to recover. Or, your anger may take over in a way that leads to physical violence or aggression that falls on to the wrong people. On the other hand, not understanding our anger can also lead to repression of anger which results in increased anxiety, depression, or a decreased ability to move on from hurt, loss, and trauma. 

It’s unfortunate that anger has such a bad reputation, because anger can be a good thing! When our body is telling us we are angry we are getting cues that we have been hurt, violated, or we may need to protect ourselves or make changes. When it comes to setting boundaries and expressing needs with others, recognizing our anger is an incredible tool! For example, you may have felt repeatedly disrespected at work and like you were given excessive responsibilities and have been put down in the process too. For example, you constantly feel like your drowning, but you don’t want to rock the boat or come across like you can’t handle the work It may take finally recognizing your anger to get the motivation to speak up and set more boundaries around your workload with management. 

Anger also has potential to have transformative effects in our healing journeys. It’s normal after experiencing trauma or loss to have residual guilt or shame that lingers. Sometimes, this excessive guilt or shame is a response to us internalizing the experience and assuming that full responsibility and blame. This may turn in to anger, but it becomes directed inward. “Ugh! If I would have just not gone there that night, this never would have happened! I’m so stupid!” This sort of self-talk is not productive. Anger towards self increases shame, anxiety, and depression and facilitates for self-limiting beliefs that may impact other areas of your life. Sometimes it takes having to really feel you anger related to a trauma to externalize the event and help remove the shame and debilitating beliefs. For example, “Ugh how could that person do that to me they are deeply unwell to think that harassment was acceptable! And they shamed me afterwards trying to make me believe I asked for it!” In this way, the anger is externalized to see the situation more clearly. Anger doesn’t always have to be acted on if the recipient isn’t a safe person to receive or hear your boundaries or experience but sharing anger with a professional or trusted one can provide you the clarity and relief you desire, as well as creative methods like journaling or art. 

While I’m describing the benefits of anger, it’s important to distinguish between anger and rage. Anger is our body’s response to a specific situation, event, or external stimuli, but rage is the physical response to pent up and unprocessed anger and/ or hypervigilance. When we are experiencing rage, or when our anger is heightened beyond our ability to see a situation rationally then we have to take time to physically release anger or de-escalate or mental status before we act. This is the danger zone where we may let our anger take over and lead us to actions that we may regret or that may cause harm.

It’s also important to distinguish between anger and irritability. A small level of irritability is normal when we are experiencing changes, increased stress, or changes causing us discomfort. However, if you are feeling constantly irritable, then there may be some unresolved anger that hasn’t been addressed. Or, if you are feeling constantly angry, irritable, there may be some other feelings that have been ignored that have manifested because they were ignored and anger felt safer. In this case, ask yourself what may be going on under the anger that is hurting you, bothering you, or causing you discomfort.

Reflexive questions for recognizing, managing, and harnessing our anger. 

Question

Example 

What makes me angry?

Feeling inferior, when people touch my stuff

What does it feel like in my body when I get angry?

My head starts spinning, my chest gets tight, I want to cry and fight at the same time

How do I start responding when I get angry or REALLY angry (signs to de escalate)

Clenching fist, ruminating on perceived threat or insult, snapping at others, shutting down

What helps me relax or calm down if I’m angry?

Exercise and deep breathing

When have I used my anger for good?

Stood up to another kid who was bullying my friend in elementary school

When has my anger been destructive?

Negative self-talk (anger directed inwards), overreacting with my dog and partner (my safe people)

When have I turned my anger inwards unduly? What was  actually going on?

Beating myself up over the breakup. It wasn’t meant to be. It’s time to let go. 

When have I unduly projected my anger outwards? What was actually going on?

When I snapped at my partner last week. They didn’t do anything wrong. I just had a bad day at work.

Strategies for managing rage, irritability, and excessive anger.

• Stress reduction (the more stress we have in our life the more likely we lose control of our anger or it builds excessively

• Journaling- venting, processing, and reflecting

• Physical exercise- reduces stress and channels aggression or fight or flight response

• Deep breathing- calms ourselves down so we can regulate our nervous system to see the situation more clearly

• Step away or allowing for some distance- give yourself some time to cool down to decide how you want to respond to your anger effectively

• Grounding exercise- step outside or try the 5,4,3,2,1 exercise to de escalate 

A great start to learning how to have a balanced approach to understanding your emotions is exploring what they are telling you. For example, sadness may tell you you are being disappointed, hurt or let down. When we are feeling that way we can respond productively by crying, talking to someone, or journaling. Sadness consumes us when we are getting lost in despair by not recognizing or channeling our sadness into something (tears, spoken word, etc).

Decoding Your Emotional Cues:

Sadness

• Message: An event or multiple events have hurt you, brought you sadness, or low mood (you are be adjusting to a loss or change)

• Productive Responses: Cry it out, share with someone you trust, journal

• Unproductive Responses: Isolation, constant negative thinking, “bottling up” until it explodes

Guilt

• Message: You may need to fix a mistake that has hurt or inconvenienced someone

• Productive Responses: Consider where you may have made a mistake and apologize if you’ve made a mistake or hurt someone, ask how you can correct the situation if possible

• Unproductive Responses: Seeking reassurance from others to make guilt go away, ignoring guilt, problem, and mistake, and potentially furthering a conflict 

Anger

• Message: You or a loved one’s physical or emotional boundaries may be threatened or may have already been violated

• Productive Responses: Deep breathing, exercise, boundary setting, action taking to change the situation, talking to therapist or a non-biased external third party

• Unproductive Responses: Lashing out (insulting, violence, throwing things), gossiping, trying to control others

Fear

• Message: You or a loved one may be in physical or emotional danger

• Productive Responses: Assess for evidence of fear, decide what action may protect yourself, seek comfort and safety, recognize when the danger is over or passed

• Unproductive Responses: Ignoring fear, not recognizing your own power and letting fear control you

Disgust

• Message: (Something feels potentially unsafe, unhelpful, or uncomfortable)

• Productive Responses: Explore what is repelling you and remove yourself from stimuli if you’re body is telling you no

• Unproductive Responses: Ignoring the need to set a boundary, or avoiding everything

Loneliness

• Message: You’re seeking connection (Connection is important to you)

• Productive Responses: Reach out to a friend or loved one (phone calls or lunch dates!), explore why you are having a hard time being by yourself, do something you enjoy

• Unproductive Response: Further isolating self, or believing the loneliness means you are unlovable, constantly relying on others to provide you comfort 

Happiness

• Message: You are emotionally secure and experiencing joy and gratitude

• Productive Responses: Share your joy and gratitude, be mindful in the present moment

• Unproductive Responses: Avoiding happiness because it feels vulnerable, forcing yourself to be happy because it seems more acceptable than other emotions that may be present (i.e., anger,sadness)

Shame

• Message: You sense a risk of being ostracized or unloved

• Productive Responses: Explore why you are feeling shame, share with someone 

• Unproductive Response: Internalizing shame and letting it rule your belief system, ignoring shame and creating “walls” to protect yourself

Boredom

• Message: You are experiencing a lack of fulfillment and/ or stimulation

• Productive Responses: Push yourself to do something you enjoy (exercise, art, crafts, cooking, calling a friend), journal

• Unproductive Responses: Reach for a substance to distract or fulfill you, overcrowd your schedule because you are afraid of how you feel when you have free time

Jealousy

• Message: An insecurity you have is being reflected by external stimuli or a possession that you have is being threatened

• Productive Responses: Name your jealousy and explore what insecurity is under it

• Unproductive Responses: Hurt others or yourself to try to make the jealousy go away or to control the risk of losing your possession 

Numb

Message: Your emotions have been ignored or have been so overwhelming that you’re body is finding them too dangerous to interact with

Productive Responses: Soothe nervous system with deep breathing and time to self. Write out and explore emotions that may be under the numbness

Unproductive Responses:

Nervous

Message: MessageYou may be taking a risk

Productive Responses: Assess your supports and strengths to determine if you are ready to take a risk

Unproductive Responses: Immobilizing or holding yourself back to avoid failure or vulnerability 

Stress

Message: You are being physiologically motivated to take action 

Productive Responses: Take breaks to relax and unwind (rest, exercise, meditate, hug your partner, create something) so that stress can be managed and used to harness energy to complete task

Unproductive Responses: Pile on more tasks to make the stress go away and produce more stress until you reach burnout 

Grief

Message: Reminds you of a loss you have endured related to safety and love. Reminds you of the preciousness of life

Productive Responses: Recognize that grief comes in waves and let it remind you of the good in your past

Unproductive Responses: Avoid feeling or remembering the good, avoid new experiences for fear of loss

Emotions Have Gotten A Bad Wrap

Emotions themselves are actually a healthy, productive, biological, and normal part of the human experience!

However, sometimes they just feel like a nuisance.

They usually feel like such a bother because they are communicating and calling on us to attend to something! And sometimes we just feel too busy or too preoccupied to do so. Also, emotions have gotten a bad reputation: an “emotional” person is considered child-like and like they can’t get a grip on reality.

Oftentimes in childhood, as a response to our youthful dysregulated emotions, we are told to “not get upset” as a response to our emotions.

This makes sense, as usually the person saying so is trying to come up with a solution to the dysregulated or over reactive response. A kid screaming and crying at the top of their lungs is a situation that adults are just looking for solutions to.

However, this response lends to not actually  figuring out how to work through the emotions. 

How We Respond To Our Emotions Matter

It’s easy to respond to our emotions in two ways:

1. Ignore them

2. Be consumed by them

One response is by being overly reactive to them and allowing them to consume us.

The more common approach as we enter adulthood is to ignore them, stuff them, or discredit them.

One response feels more active and like you’re actually doing something about it, and one is more passive and falls under the belief that there is nothing you can do about your emotional response.

Both responses are ignoring what the emotions are telling you. 

Because that’s what emotions are there for- to tell you something!

Emotions are our internal messengers and communicators to tell us how to respond to our external and physical world!

When our emotions are stuffed deep down, anxiety, depression, and/ or OCD are usually sitting on top of them. And when our emotions are out of control, anxious, intrusive, or depressive thoughts often follow.

Our mental health and cognitive functioning is strongly dependent on our ability to feel, experience, explore, understand, and cope with our emotions.

How Your Childhood Experiences Shape Your Emotions Responses

Usually the way we handle emotions is affected by the models and societal messages around us growing up.

If your family didn’t talk about emotions, then it’s likely you don’t talk about emotions.

If your family had really big and unhinged emotions that felt scary as a child, then emotions may be avoided so that your world feels more safe.

If you didn’t have a place to share or process your emotions, then you may have learned to just keep them bottled up and stuffed down (because what else were you supposed to do?).

On the other hand, we might express our emotions loudly and openly to get what we want. This could be due to trauma, confusion, or struggles with boundaries. When we don’t know how to handle our emotions, they can become explosive or overwhelming for us and others. In this case, our emotions may feel like "demons," leaving us wondering how to get rid of them.

The Power of Nonviolent Communication

Communication is at the heart of human interaction. It’s the bridge between individuals, connecting us in times of need, conflict, or joy.

However, as Marshall Rosenberg eloquently outlined in his groundbreaking work on Nonviolent Communication (NVC), much of our communication is fraught with misunderstanding, judgment, and, at times, violence.

According to Rosenberg, the way we communicate can either create barriers between us or foster deeper understanding and connection.

What is Nonviolent Communication?

Nonviolent Communication (NVC), sometimes referred to as “compassionate communication”, is a method developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960s. Rosenberg's approach aims to promote empathy, connection, and understanding in all forms of interaction.

NVC is based on the premise that, at our core, all human beings share similar needs, and our actions and words are attempts to meet these needs. When we become disconnected from our needs and the needs of others, we begin to communicate in ways that can be harmful or destructive.

Rosenberg identified two major forms of communication: life-alienating and life-enriching.

• Life-alienating communication includes judgments, criticisms, labels, demands, and coercion—things that often lead to conflict and misunderstanding.

• Life-enriching communication, the goal of NVC, involves creating a space where people can express their needs and feelings in ways that promote connection rather than division.

The Four Components of Nonviolent Communication

Rosenberg’s model of NVC consists of four main components:

1. Observation: Observing what is actually happening in a situation without evaluating or interpreting it. For example, instead of saying, "You never listen to me," an observation might be, "When I talked to you this morning, you were looking at your phone."

2. Feelings: Identifying and expressing how we feel about what we have observed. Rather than hiding or minimizing our emotions, NVC encourages people to be open about what they are experiencing. "I feel frustrated and unheard" is a simple and honest way to share emotions.

3. Needs: Recognizing the underlying needs or values behind our feelings. In NVC, unmet needs are at the root of conflicts. By naming our needs, we help clarify what is driving our emotions. For example, “I need to feel valued and heard in our conversations” shifts the focus to what’s important.

4. Requests: Making clear and specific requests for actions that might meet our needs. Requests in NVC are framed positively and with flexibility, allowing the other person freedom to respond rather than feeling coerced. Instead of demanding, “Stop looking at your phone,” a request might be, “Would you be willing to put your phone down while we talk?”

These four components work together to create a communication framework that fosters clarity, empathy, and mutual understanding.

We've all had those days when the mere thought of getting out of bed feels like an insurmountable challenge. Whether it's due to stress, fatigue, or just a general lack of motivation, we've all been there. The good news is that there are simple and effective ways to shake off that morning slump and start your day on a positive note. In this blog, we'll explore 10 tips to help you feel better and kickstart your day with renewed energy.

Tips for Getting Out Of Bed

1) Morning Visualization and Affirmations

Before getting out of bed, take a moment to visualize a positive and successful day ahead. You can also practice affirmations by repeating positive statements about yourself and your goals. This mental preparation can set a constructive tone for the day and boost your confidence.

2) Leverage Your Breath

While many of you know about using your breath to lower your heart rate by using long, slow exhales, the opposite is true. Try taking several long, full inhales to help energize your body before swinging your feet to the floor. You will find it helps increase your energy!

3) Incorporate Gentle Stretching Or Yoga

Engage your body and mind with gentle stretching or a short yoga routine. These activities can help increase blood flow, improve flexibility, and release tension. You don't need a lengthy workout; just a few minutes of stretching or yoga poses can invigorate your body and make it easier to transition from bed to a more active state.

4) Light Exposure

Exposure to natural light plays a crucial role in regulating our circadian rhythm and promoting wakefulness. Open your curtains or blinds to let in natural light as soon as you wake up. If possible, take a short walk outside to soak in the sunlight. Natural light exposure helps reset your internal clock, signaling to your body that it's time to be awake and alert.

5) Create a Comfortable Sleep Environment

The quality of your sleep environment can significantly impact your ability to get out of bed feeling refreshed. Invest in a comfortable mattress and pillows, and make your bedroom a serene and relaxing space. Keep the room cool, dark, and quiet to create an optimal sleeping environment. This can make waking up in the morning a more pleasant experience.

6) Start With Baby Steps

Start with small goals. That may be to simply stand up, step one foot outside, or grab a class of water before laying down again. Accomplishing goals increases your dopamine, making it easier to accomplish larger goals over time.

7) Create a Morning Playlist

Create a morning playlist filled with your favorite uplifting tunes or listen to motivational podcasts. Music has the power to influence our mood and energy levels, making it an excellent tool to kickstart your day. Whether you prefer calming melodies or upbeat rhythms, find what resonates with you and use it to create a positive morning routine.

8) Plan Something To Look Forward To

Having a purpose or something to look forward to can make getting out of bed more appealing. It could be as simple as planning a delicious breakfast, treating yourself to a coffee, or having a small personal project to work on. Setting positive intentions for the day can provide motivation and make the act of getting out of bed feel more rewarding.

9) Hydrate Your Body

Dehydration can contribute to feelings of sluggishness and fatigue. Start your day by drinking a glass of water to rehydrate your body after a night's sleep. Staying hydrated throughout the day can improve your overall well-being and help you feel more alert. Consider keeping a water bottle by your bedside to make it a habit to drink water as soon as you wake up.

10) Seek Support

If feelings of fatigue or lack of motivation persist, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. Sometimes, these feelings can be indicative of underlying issues such as stress, anxiety, or depression. Talking to someone you trust or seeking professional help can provide valuable insights and guidance on improving your mental well-being.

Choosing between couples therapy and individual therapy is a deeply personal decision that depends on your unique circumstances and goals. Both forms of therapy offer valuable benefits, and in some cases, a combination of both may be the most effective approach. The key is to assess your needs honestly and communicate openly with your partner (if applicable) about the best path forward. Remember, seeking therapy is a positive step toward healing, growth, and a healthier future, whether you do it together or individually.

What’s your speciality?

I enjoy working with a wide range of clients and addressing various issues. However, I specialize in relational issues. I’m particularly interested in helping individuals and couples navigate relationship dynamics, improve communication, and resolve conflicts. My focus on relational issues allows me to provide tailored support for those looking to strengthen their connections and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

While creativity is so much more than traditional art forms, the use of artistic methods is a quintessential form of self-expression.

There are endless artistic mediums to explore which may include sketching with charcoal, getting messy with watercolor, relaxing by coloring pre-designed pages, creating real life with acrylics, dirtying your hands in sculpting, and embracing technology for graphic design.

The beauty and freedom of artistic expression is that it is entirely subjective and authentic.

This freedom allows for the space for you to express yourself without limits or self-judgment.

It’s not that you can’t judge your art, but there are no clear rules for judgment. The creation you make may mean one thing to you and something completely different to someone else.

If you can let go of the fear of perfection, there is immense potential for self-acceptance through the process of creation.

“The ability to let go of judgment through artistic expression may also serve as a practice tool to reflect back in your personal life or inner dialogue.”

Community Collaborations: Dr. Juan Pablo Galindo with Innerbloom Healing Arts

Collaging & Vision Boarding: Growth through Reconstruction

You may read the word “collage” and immediately be taken back to elementary school with an assignment where you sorted through a big box of old magazines that had been used for years for some sort of history assignment.

Perhaps you think of vision boards and think “that’s a cute idea,” but I have no idea how one goes about making one or if it’s anything more than just a cute idea.

There is a unique power, however, that can come through the process of collaging.

Collaging is made by sticking a variety of materials, photographs, or cuttings together to a paper or backing to make one integrated creation.

Some of the benefits of collaging are that it offers the mindfulness of actually engaging in a craft (cutting, gluing, etc), which keeps your hands and mind busy and can be a wonderful distraction or hobby to divert your attention from anxiety or troubles.

It also finishes with an end “product” which can help offer feelings of productivity and a healthy sense of control or empowerment.

This experience of feeling like you have made something can be particularly useful in a time when life feels really out of control or if you're experiencing a sense of helplessness in your life at a given moment.

Creative writing has some exceptionally therapeutic opportunities. Writing provides an immediate release for our overwhelming and assuming thoughts and emotions. Releasing and identifying the words of your distress, joy, sadness, anger, pain, or insights allows you to be mindful of what your internal world is telling you instead of allowing it to overcome you. It also provides you an outlet so that the intensity of your internal world doesn’t have to be repressed or “bottled up.” Writing outlets include journaling, poetry, short story or screenplay writing, and more.

Journaling: The act of journaling offers many benefits including having a regular outlet for overwhelming thoughts, emotions, or anxieties as well as a self-reflective element. Especially if you know your journal is kept private it offers a perfect and safe space for you to write or express anything that you’ve been keeping in or have felt too afraid or ashamed to say out loud. It’s very common to only resort to journaling when you’re feeling overwhelmed as a form of release but it has more potential to be beneficial if it’s integrated as more of a routine practice. Writing about your day as a form of tracking events is helpful but being intentional about expressing or exploring your emotions that came up that day or writing about your past can be most beneficial. It’s also a wonderful tool to write out your raw thoughts that you would like to express to someone but you know it may be a little harsh or not as well received because anger is overwhelming. In that case, journaling about it first can help clear out some of the excess anger and organize your thoughts and feelings so that you can better express your frustrations, anger, needs, or boundaries more clearly.

Journaling prompt for feeling overwhelmed:

What’s happened/ happening? (i.e., sequential events and your response- what are you

afraid of, hurt \ by, angry about etc)

What thoughts are rushing in? (what are you believing about yourself, the world, or other

Parties? (I can’t trust this person anymore, I feel like I can’t do anything right)

What emotion do you feel? (I’m overwhelmed with anger and disgust, how could

someone do this? I feel so defeated and heartbroken, I can’t imagine my life without this person) (look at feelings wheel

What are you doing now in response: I’m going to eat dinner and snuggle with my dog

What can you hope for the future: (I will find someone else, I will find happiness again)

What’s two positive things you believe about yourself?

Journaling prompts for your routine journaling:

What are you grateful for in your life?

What are your curiosities about how your life could have turned out differently?

What are the moments in your life or attributes about yourself that you’re most proud of?

What emotions do you have the most difficulty connecting with and why? (look at

feelings wheel)

Explore more about visual journaling through collage in this blog (Growth through reconstruction)

Poetry: Poetry is the flowing river of creative writing. The rhythmic quality and hidden meanings and metaphors creates fluid and wide open space for mental and emotional expression with limited restraints. Therefore, practicing poetry is a great outlet for exploring topics, emotions, or experiences that feel overwhelming or difficult to get in touch with on your own.

One example: A Haiku for emotions:

My ___ (emotion) is _____ (one syllable word for color or sound)

Like _____ (name of city, a place, or a household item), ____and____ (2 descriptive adjectives) loud and flashing

It helps me ______ (two words)

Ex:

My anger is red

Like Hong Kong, loud and flashing

It helps me know me

My grief is quiet

Like coffee, still and daily

It helps me hold on

My love is pure pink

Like my porch swing, light and free

It helps me know you

Short Stories: Writing short stories offer a wonderful sense of distance to explore themes, situations, emotions, or hardships in your own life. It offers endless creative opportunities as you create settings and characters. As well as, potential for personal growth by exploring themes and coming up with your own resolutions or endings.

How to get started with a short story:

Who are your characters? What are their strengths and weaknesses? What do they look like? (Choose some characteristics to represent different parts of you: ex: someone sarcastic, someone depressed, someone joyful, someone always confused)

Where is the setting of your story? What is the culture, atmosphere, and sensual qualities?

What are the themes of the story? (ex. Grief, shame, isolation, misunderstandings, etc.)

What is the climax and resolution of your story?

Get to writing! You may surprise yourself with what you come up with!

The power of creativity arrives from crossing the act of mindfulness with the act of letting go. The mindful and intentional approach of pouring yourself into a creative endeavor helps you connect to a positive activity outside of yourself and your anxious thoughts. This process allows you to detach without being avoidant and suppressing your feelings. The act of letting go helps to free yourself and your negative thought patterns from the regular pressures of societal or external forces and an acute relationship with control. Creativity is the art of making something from nothing and utilizing self-expression in the process. Creativity and art are overarchingly subjective therefore there is minimal control of how others will perceive your creation. Giving in to this subjectivity is practice for releasing the pressures to control others’ perspectives of ourselves.

Creativity is an incredible medium for supporting mental health. Creative action can help you to tap into the right side of your brain and helps to merge your logical and emotional mind. So often states of anxiety, depression and low self-esteem are generated by “overthinking,” “over rationalizing,” and negative thought cycles that are fueled in the logical and left side of our brain. Engaging in right brain activities offers reprieve from these cycles so we can create new positive thought cycles/ neuropathways.

Engaging with your “creative self” allows you to improve your thinking patterns by interacting with more curiosity and open-mindedness. This form of thinking is a refreshing change especially for those of us with exceptionally rigid thinking. Being creative also allows for emotional expression by offering a platform of interaction that gives us the space to engage with our emotions so that we are not overcome by them or suppressing them. If you're overwhelmed by a crushing wave of depression or overwhelming anxiety and panic, engaging in creative action helps to regain some sense of control and autonomy. Likewise, engaging with your creative self also allows you to feel a sense of satisfaction or mastery as you work on your craft. Whether you have finished it or not, you have a tangible sense of witnessing some sort of accomplishment. This can be particularly beneficial if you’re in a phase of experiencing helplessness or a lack of agency in your own life. One of the most powerful elements of engaging with your creative self is if you can eliminate the pressure of perfection or people pleasing you can engage with creativity in good humor. Embracing the subjectivity of your creation and laughing through the process helps to detach from the seriousness of having to perform for others.

There are endless ways to explore creative outlets and coping strategies that may go against your traditional conceptions of creativity. Coping by creating something can present in numerous ways. It can look like baking, cooking, drawing, pottery, woodworking, building with legos, graphic design, knitting, cross stitching, playing music, singing, dancing, interior design, and so much more. Exploring creative outlets to find out what connects most with you can help to connect with more of your own authenticity and also help you to connect with others by building community with people with similar interests!

How to choose a creative outlet:

Decide what areas you are interested in (building, cooking, art, crafting, etc)

Explore what modalities are most accessible (do you have the materials or are they affordable?)

Choose an outlet that feels comfortable and easy to connect with (ex: I love to cook!)

Set up time to explore this outlet

Choose an outlet or medium that feels adventurous or would push you (ex: I’ve always wanted to try poetry)

Set up time to explore this outlet 1-2 times a week

If either outlet doesn’t feel authentic or is too difficult to accomplish, try another!

A few simple practices may make all the difference in changing your sleep habits. Try these tips ranging from shifting your mindset, to creating a playlist.

We've all had those days when the mere thought of getting out of bed feels like an insurmountable challenge. Whether it's due to stress, fatigue, or just a general lack of motivation, we've all been there. The good news is that there are simple and effective ways to shake off that morning slump and start your day on a positive note. In this blog, we'll explore 10 tips to help you feel better and kickstart your day with renewed energy.

Tips for Getting Out Of Bed

1) Morning Visualization and Affirmations

Before getting out of bed, take a moment to visualize a positive and successful day ahead. You can also practice affirmations by repeating positive statements about yourself and your goals. This mental preparation can set a constructive tone for the day and boost your confidence.

2) Leverage Your Breath

While many of you know about using your breath to lower your heart rate by using long, slow exhales, the opposite is true. Try taking several long, full inhales to help energize your body before swinging your feet to the floor. You will find it helps increase your energy!

3) Incorporate Gentle Stretching Or Yoga

Engage your body and mind with gentle stretching or a short yoga routine. These activities can help increase blood flow, improve flexibility, and release tension. You don't need a lengthy workout; just a few minutes of stretching or yoga poses can invigorate your body and make it easier to transition from bed to a more active state.

4) Light Exposure

Exposure to natural light plays a crucial role in regulating our circadian rhythm and promoting wakefulness. Open your curtains or blinds to let in natural light as soon as you wake up. If possible, take a short walk outside to soak in the sunlight. Natural light exposure helps reset your internal clock, signaling to your body that it's time to be awake and alert.

5) Create a Comfortable Sleep Environment

The quality of your sleep environment can significantly impact your ability to get out of bed feeling refreshed. Invest in a comfortable mattress and pillows, and make your bedroom a serene and relaxing space. Keep the room cool, dark, and quiet to create an optimal sleeping environment. This can make waking up in the morning a more pleasant experience.

6) Start With Baby Steps

Start with small goals. That may be to simply stand up, step one foot outside, or grab a class of water before laying down again. Accomplishing goals increases your dopamine, making it easier to accomplish larger goals over time.

7) Create a Morning Playlist

Create a morning playlist filled with your favorite uplifting tunes or listen to motivational podcasts. Music has the power to influence our mood and energy levels, making it an excellent tool to kickstart your day. Whether you prefer calming melodies or upbeat rhythms, find what resonates with you and use it to create a positive morning routine.

8) Plan Something To Look Forward To

Having a purpose or something to look forward to can make getting out of bed more appealing. It could be as simple as planning a delicious breakfast, treating yourself to a coffee, or having a small personal project to work on. Setting positive intentions for the day can provide motivation and make the act of getting out of bed feel more rewarding.

9) Hydrate Your Body

Dehydration can contribute to feelings of sluggishness and fatigue. Start your day by drinking a glass of water to rehydrate your body after a night's sleep. Staying hydrated throughout the day can improve your overall well-being and help you feel more alert. Consider keeping a water bottle by your bedside to make it a habit to drink water as soon as you wake up.

10) Seek Support

If feelings of fatigue or lack of motivation persist, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. Sometimes, these feelings can be indicative of underlying issues such as stress, anxiety, or depression. Talking to someone you trust or seeking professional help can provide valuable insights and guidance on improving your mental well-being.

What services do you offer to the community?

I'm passionate about assisting others in aging gracefully through movement and energy work. My offerings include mobile private one-on-one and small group sessions where I can come directly to your home, workplace, or wherever you might be. I also teach techniques for self-massage using Tune Up® balls to help release fascia and enhance mobility. Additionally, I provide reiki attunements, meditation sessions, Yoga Nidra, Restorative Yoga, and various workshops. I'm also available for public speaking engagements to share the benefits of these practices.

What’s your favorite part of your job?

My students would be my favorite part. Witnessing my students transform and helping them live their lives more fully is such an honor and privilege to be a part of.

What’s your favorite service?

I truly enjoy private sessions because they allow me to tailor each session to the specific needs of individuals or small groups, whether it involves various forms of yoga, self-massage, or a combination of services. However, I'm also passionate about expanding my public speaking opportunities. Sharing my knowledge and experience in a public setting lets me reach and benefit a wider audience, helping more people embrace a healthier lifestyle through movement and mindfulness. This blend of personal customization and broader outreach is what I love most about my work.

What makes your business unique?

What sets my business apart is our deep commitment to personalized wellness. We understand that each body is unique, so we emphasize proper alignment and encourage clients to tune into how each pose feels in their body. This approach recognizes that the body has an inherent ability to move and heal itself. By closely collaborating with our clients, we can better understand how their bodies respond to different practices, allowing us to tailor our sessions to maximize benefits. This focus on individualized care and responsiveness to each person's physical needs and responses is what truly makes us stand out.

Navigating through tough times, and trauma specifically, can be overwhelming, but you're not alone on this journey.

Trauma-informed therapy is a great way to not only heal from your past, but create a bright future through unlocking your body and brains innate wisdom and potential. Let's dive into some ways trauma-informed therapy can offer support and healing!

12 Trauma Informed Therapy Techniques for Women

1) Psychoeducation: Understanding the Impact of Trauma

Ever wonder why you react the way you do? Psychoeducation is like your guidebook to understanding how trauma impacts your brain, memory, and overall well-being. It's all about making sense of your reactions and giving yourself some well-deserved self-compassion.

2) Grounding Techniques: Anchoring in the Present Moment

Feeling overwhelmed? Grounding techniques are like your secret superhero moves for staying present during tough times. Whether it's deep breathing, mindfulness, or some sensory magic, these tools create a safe space and help you regain control.

3) EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Transforming Traumatic Memories

EMDR might sound like a tech acronym, but it's a game-changer. Imagine transforming those distressing memories through a structured process with eye movements. It's like hitting the reset button on the emotional charge tied to traumatic experiences.

4) Person-Centered (Rogerian) Therapy: Compassionate Therapeutic Relationship

Person-Centered Therapy is here to give you back your voice and agency. Developed by Carl Rogers, this approach is all about empathy, unconditional positive regard, and creating a safe space for you to explore at your own pace, building trust in your own intuition and innate wisdom.

5) Exploring Family History: Unraveling Generational Patterns

Your family history holds clues to patterns in your behavior. By exploring it, you get to the roots of certain behaviors, core beliefs, thought patterns, habits, and coping mechanisms. It's like opening up a treasure chest of understanding.

6) Schema Therapy: Addressing Core Beliefs

We all have deep-seated beliefs from childhood. Schema therapy helps identify and challenge those beliefs, paving the way for healing and personal growth.

7) Narrative Therapy & Verbal Processing

Ever thought about rewriting your life story? Narrative therapy does just that – emphasizing resilience and growth over victimhood. And verbal processing? It's your space to speak your truth and integrate your narrative.

8) Inner Child Work & Internal Family Systems: Nurturing the Inner Self

Meet your inner child! Our inner child often carries our heaviest burdens and deepest wounds. Inner Child Work and Internal Family Systems dive into the different aspects within you, shaped by past experiences. It's like giving a warm hug to that wounded inner child, fostering self-compassion and deep healing.

9) Art Therapy: Expressive Healing Through Creativity

Talking isn't the only way to express yourself. Art therapy taps into the wisdom of your right brain, using various mediums to explore and process emotions. It's like giving your right brain the spotlight for a change, in a culture that seems to only value the left brain!

10) Polyvagal Theory: Understanding the Nervous System

Your nervous system plays a huge role in how you experience the world. Polyvagal Theory dives into this, offering insights into how your body responds to stress and trauma. It's like understanding your body's unique language.

11) Healthy Habits & Self-Care Planning (i.e., Coping Skills)

We all need a toolbox of coping skills. Learning healthy habits, problem-solving, and emotional regulation equips you with practical tools to navigate stressors effectively. And let's not forget the importance of creating a self-care plan for ongoing well-being. Yoga and other types of exercise help you reconnect, releasing stored tension associated with trauma. It's like a reset button for your mind-body connection.

12) Communication & Boundaries: Building Healthy Connections

Trauma can make it really difficult to trust others or feel safe in relationships. Learning effective communication and setting boundaries is like having the keys to building and maintaining healthy connections, creating a safe space for yourself. 

Remember, these techniques are tools in your toolbox – you get to choose what feels right for you. It's a journey, and we're here to support you every step of the way. By combining various techniques, we can tailor our approach to meet the unique needs of each client, fostering empowerment, resilience, and personal growth on your healing journey.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most widely recognized forms of psychotherapy. Google almost any mental health concern, and you will see CBT mentioned over and over again. But any good trauma therapist will know, CBT isn’t all its cracked up to be and may not be the best choice for you. While CBT can be helpful, its popularity is due more to its simplistic formula best suited for insurance companies requirements than its appropriateness or effectiveness.

Here are 10 concerns we have with CBT:

1. Limited focus on underlying causes: 

CBT primarily targets surface-level thoughts and behaviors. CBT may not be the best choice if the underlying causes of a person's issues are rooted in their past or subconscious mind. For those wanting to heal unresolved trauma or childhood wounds, there may be more suitable therapy modalities. 

2. Rigid format: 

The formulaic structure of CBT can feel impersonal, rigid, and isolating for those who prefer a more relational, exploratory, or open-ended approach. CBT exercises and interventions can feel prescriptive and artificial. 

3. Exacerbates Self-Critical Thoughts: 

CBT focuses on labeling thoughts and “adaptive” or “maladaptive”, which can exacerbate self-critical and shaming thoughts and feelings. For those who experience self-criticism, therapy approaches like Internal Family Systems or Person-Centered therapy will be more healing. 

4. Not A Well Rounded Trauma Treatment: 

Because trauma often does not get stored in the brain as a normal conscious and biographical memory, focusing on cognition and behavior may exacerbate a client’s symptoms. The effects of trauma are often experienced subcortically (in the subconscious), in the body (somatically), emotionally (right hemisphere), or as a dysregulated nervous system. CBT has a limited focus on these areas.

5. Not all issues are Cognitive: 

When someone is anxious or overwhelmed, the “logical” part of the brain shutdown. CBT emphasizes the left hemisphere of the brain (ie the verbal side), and can ignores both the body and the right hemisphere of the brain (ie experiential/emotional/nonverbal).

6. Short-term focus: 

CBT is generally considered a short-term therapy, which may not be ideal for individuals who desire an ongoing or open ended counseling style where they can talk about whatever feels most pressing that week. 

7. Overemphasis on self-help: 

Some individuals may feel overwhelmed or pressured by the emphasis on self-help techniques in CBT. They might prefer a therapy that relies more on the therapist's guidance and support or emphasizes organic exploration and verbal processing.

8. Limited scope for exploring emotions: 

CBT tends to prioritize thoughts and behaviors over emotions. For people who need to work through deep-seated emotional issues or trauma, other therapeutic modalities like psychodynamic or experiential therapies may be more appropriate. Similarly, for those who tend to intellectualize their issues, CBT may exacerbate emotional avoidance. 

9. Lack of holistic approach: 

CBT often focuses on specific problems or symptoms, and it may not take into account the broader context of a person's life, including their relationships, social environment, and overall well-being.

10. Incompatibility with specific goals: 

If an individual's therapeutic goals are more oriented toward personal growth, self-exploration, or understanding the meaning of life, CBT may not align with these objectives.

It's important to remember that therapy is not one-size-fits-all, and the choice of the most suitable therapeutic approach should be based on an individual's unique needs and preferences. Ethredge Counseling Group is committed to high quality holistic therapy modalities that will explore the underlying cause, not putting a bandaid over the surface issue.

If you live in South Carolina or Tennessee and are interested in mental health counseling, you can schedule a 20min free consultation with a licensed professional counselor by following the link below!

The thought of getting started with therapy for the first time can be very intimidating.

You may be worried that your problems are either too small or too big. You may fear therapy is all about blaming others. Or, worse… you may fear your therapist may secretly judge you and blame you for everything!

Are you expected to cry the whole time? Does it look bad if you cry too much? The good news is that there is actually no right way to do therapy and the most important thing is that you just be yourself! Your licensed therapist is trained to help you do that and then help you move forward with your life. If you can’t be your most authentic self in therapy, then you won’t go as far!

Three Myths About Therapy

1) You have to have a serious mental illness

I hear friends and others say all the time that what they are going through “isn’t that bad,” when they are contemplating whether or not they should start therapy. One myth around therapy is that your life has to be falling apart for you to need some sort of help. Or, that you’ve had to experience a significant trauma or disaster to be worthy of getting help. This is not true! Whether your mental health symptoms are severe, or not, therapy is available to help you grow and change. If you keep getting stuck in the same patterns, (like avoiding conflict or “overreacting” to the same problem again and again), if you feel like your self-worth isn’t what it should be, or if you’re constantly turning to binging tv or having an extra glass of wine instead of doing something healthy for yourself, then therapy is a great option for you!

Therapy is now more strength based and has a heightened awareness of wellness, relationships, and optimal growth. This means that therapy isn’t dependent on a mental health diagnosis to get treatment (diagnoses can be helpful, but they may not be necessary!). It’s a brave step to get therapy even if you don’t feel like your life is falling apart. Starting therapy can feel scary- but, that’s what your therapist is there for! They can help you move through it!

2) Therapy is for getting great advice

The most common myth I’ve seen first-time therapy clients falling victim to is the idea that they should go to therapy to get great advice. Along with this belief, they expect their therapist to be doing all of the talking, leading, teaching, and advice giving. However, the reality is that you will and should be doing most of the talking and your therapist will help you understand yourself better so you can be empowered to make your own decisions for your life. Therapists are trained to actively listen to clients to help reflect what the client is experiencing. This process helps clients to better understand themselves, their needs, their goals, and their shortcomings. This requires the client to do a lot of the talking and sometimes leading in session as well.

The more the therapist understands you, the more they can provide insight, interventions, and education to help you move forward. Education and intervention isn’t typically the first step of therapy. Instead, the first few sessions usually have a lot to do with them getting to know you the best that they can so they can then work with you to help you move forward. The closest thing a client typically gets to “advice” is some psychoeducation around coping, communicating, and managing trauma and the nervous system. But, when it comes to advice on what you do with your life, it’s a lot more empowering, and the change is a lot more long lasting, when therapy helps you begin making those decisions yourself.

3) You have to find the “perfect fit”

It’s great news that therapy is becoming less stigmatized and more people are reaching out to start therapy. This means that more therapists are becoming available in big and small cities, alike. However, within this trend, a new myth around therapy has developed that encourages “shopping around” for your therapist to “find the perfect fit.” Unfortunately, the myth of the “perfect fit” sometimes keeps clients from being able to accept their therapist and open up in the therapy room. Then, they quit therapy early on, or go on an endless search to find this ideal match, and they never end up getting the benefits that come from therapy. Many therapists specialize in certain issues or with certain populations. This may help guide your search and help you find a “good fit”, but the idea that there is a “perfect fit” is a myth.

The therapeutic relationship is an integral part of every therapy session. This means that the therapist will use intentional skills to make you feel more comfortable and less judged. The therapeutic relationship helps provide a safe and secure connection that will support your optimal growth. Your therapist is a unique person! They need to be that person in order to successfully build the therapeutic relationship. The therapist that helps you achieve your goals might not be exactly what you imagined or expected, but you will be so glad that you gave them a chance.

If you are interested in learning more about how counseling or therapy can help you, schedule a free 20 min consultation with a licensed professional therapist by following the link below!

Trauma can be so difficult to label. We may cling to the word with hope that labeling it will set us free, or we may avoid the labeling, in fear that it might actually be true. Regardless, it’s safe to say that none of us are left unscathed in life and we’re all affected by trauma in some way.

Trauma is the scars you wear, visible and invisible, known and unknown.

It’s the core of the deep shame you carry, or the inexplicable fear, or the seemingly unjustified “over-reactions” you may have.

It’s the tears that come to our eyes when the truth of our trauma is revealed to you- through your own words, other’s reflections, or the show you were passively watching on TV.

It’s the anger, anxiety, sadness, and isolation you feel when someone makes a stupid joke. It’s the physical sensation of every ounce of your being feeling activated while somehow other parts feel numb or blind.

It’s the frustration of not understanding why you are acting the way you are.

It’s the depression and darkness you’ve come to know as your own self-worth.

It’s the story of your strength, even if it's one you don’t share. It’s become a part of you, even if you don’t want it there.

Whatever the cause of your trauma, or however far along you are in your journey of understanding and recovering from it, it’s a valuable part of you. But, it is not you. You may be frustrated. You feel like you keep repeating the same patterns over and over again, or that you’re stuck with this absence of peace in your life.

From a bird's eye view, you can understand it. You can pinpoint how the past has affected your present, but you're wondering why you can't change your issues yourself or move past it. It’s physical, it’s emotional, it’s mental. It takes time to understand and you are the perfect navigator. It’s a privilege for others to be a part of your journey. You don’t have to include them, but it may help. On the journey of navigating your trauma, you get to decide how far or how deep you go, and who you will take with you.

For those whose trauma is too scary and painful to touch

Don’t touch it alone. The darkest and scariest places are meant to be explored with a companion. If you’re not ready to touch it. That’s okay. We can learn how to make the most of your world around it. 

For those in the middle of trying to understand their trauma 

It might feel like you are stuck in the middle of the most confusing maze. You started this journey, but you may be wondering if there’s actually a way out. We can work so that you feel stronger and safer while in the maze. We might even find joy there! You certainly don’t have to walk this path alone.

For those who are doubting if their trauma is really trauma 

Self-doubt is a normal part of the game. Trauma is a full spectrum full of little T’s and Big T’s. All of your stories are worthy of being honored and explored. 

Trauma can be addressed in therapy in many different ways. A strong therapeutic relationship with your therapist is the most important factor. From managing triggers, to exploring your self-worth, the client is always in control of how far the trauma work goes. EMDR is a wonderful tool for exploring trauma (from the smallest to the biggest T) and rewiring a dysfunctional belief system. EMDR can help break frustrating behavior patterns you have, reducing triggers, and reprocessing emotions and physical sensations of the past.

Anxiety can be unbearable. Panic can be worse!

The experience of a panic attack can be absolutely terrifying. The recovery time following a panic attack can feel disheartening and bring on feelings of hopelessness. Having strategies to manage anxiety and panic once you start spiraling is critical.

The tips below can help not only to end panic, but to prevent it, so that you can continue to move forward without a total collapse. Try out any, or many, of these 10 tips for managing panic to try to stop spiraling and to keep yourself feeling less out of control.

10 Tips To Stop Panic Attacks

Write It Out

when racing thoughts start to come, and the fear that they carry with them escalates, you need to get them out! Writing out your anxious and racing thoughts not only helps to get them out of your head and on to paper, but it also helps you to feel more in control and to see them more clearly. They change from the vague and rushing blur to hear head to identifiable small words on a paper.

Talk to Someone You Can Trust

Both writing, and talking out your thoughts,In the same can help to release them and not have them feel so scary. It’s important that when you do share your thoughts, you share them with someone you trust. If you share your anxious thoughts and the story of what you’re going through with someone that supports and understands you, then you can quickly start feeling less isolated and afraid.

Deep Breathing

Deep breathing is the gold standard for managing panic. Deep breathing provides immediate relief to your nervous system, which can help relax your mind and body and shift you out of panic mode. Successful deep breathing includes inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth and repeating this multiple times (at least 5 if you’re feeling panicky!). As you inhale, you want to practice first filling up your lungs and diaphragm with your brath. Then, as you continue breathing, and then try to work on using your inhale to fill your belly. Holding your inhales can help to release more and extend your exhales! Successful deep breathing takes practice, so try it out every morning!

The 5,4,3,2,1 Check In

This technique is great for grounding when panic hits! You’ll check in with all of your senses to bring yourself back into your body and connect to the present moment. Identify 5 things you can see and try to use an adjective to describe it (for example: pink shirt, gray wall, striped pillow, yellow pencil), 4 things you can touch (ex: suede shoe, rough wall, smooth folder, soft shirt), 3 things you can hear (ex: cars going by, the AC, your own breathing, laughter), 2 things you can smell (coffee, your deodorant, the plant, your coworkers lunch), and 1 thing you can taste (find a drink or snack, or just identify the weird taste of your own mouth).

Step Outside

Get some fresh air! Whether you're stepping into your yard, or out of the crowded room. Give yourself some space from where you're having overwhelming thoughts or feelings that are turning into panic. Your environment plays a big role in your physical and mental well being, so step away to feel less stuck and more in control!

Create Something

Getting creative is a wonderful way to help remove yourself from overwhelming thoughts and anxiety and to channel them into something new. Creativity does NOT have to mean that you are creating a gorgeous painting (although art is a wonderful way to express yourself). But, creativity is any action that is generating something new. You can embrace creativity by cooking, baking, woodworking, playing with legos/ building materials, graphic design, or even gardening.